Cursive
by apocalypse cabaret
Summary: It was the handwriting that gave him away. Go figure.
1. An Introduction

**Disclaimer:** fjdksjfslajl**this**jfkdsjflks**is**fjkdsjfljkl**stephenie**fjhdehkd**meyer's**fdkflkajsalj**and**jfkedwjfkaj**not**qurtiewuo**mine**hfjkdskladjsk.

**Author Note:** So. I've been on a two or so week hiatus. Why, you may ask, have I been on this two week hiatus? Well, the first and foremost: AP exams. For those of you who had them, I'm sure you feel my pain. And surprisingly, AP English Lang&Comp kicked my arse. Seriously. And plus, the synthesis question was bull. pennies? wtf. Secondly, laziness: I had to study for AP Exams. studying leads to not writing. not writing needs to nothing being worked on. nothing being worked on leads to no updates. and here we are. Plus, there are only a few weeks of school left. Two, actually. And my birthday is soon as well. (Which means I'm on an epic hunt for a Toyota Yaris that isn't super expensive.)

So, don't expect much between now and May 29th. I still have three exams left to take. Anyway, this story is something I've been saving for a rainy day, per se. And feedback for said story makes me happy. very much so, in fact. Also, this story borderlines on M, but only for language. No random crazy vampire orgies where Emmett is randomly dressed up as a ballerina and prancing around with vampire animals that would qualify the story as M.

* * *

_"Last night I woke alone with a whisper in my ear  
Recanting all my aspirations and my fears  
And when the sun came up that voice had disappeared  
But it would linger on for years"_—Streetlight Manifesto, Watch It Crash.

--

No interference. He promised that. A clean break. To let her get on with her, you know, unanimously happy lifestyle in a too-small town, with too little sunlight, a father who all but refused to acknowledge zombie mode Bella, and too many people who knew "the story."

The bastard just couldn't… stay away. First the Pacific Northwest Trust, now this. She got his first letter the day she got her acceptance letter from Northwestern University in Chicago. He just couldn't _stay away_. Selfish jerk. The cheater. Go figure. Edward was always the type to give in first. _Interference, my ass_. She thought in utter annoyance. It wasn't even annoyance anymore, she was positively livid.

_Asshole. Selfish, ungrateful asshole. Why couldn't you just go away and __**stay away**_.

She happily showed Charlie the acceptance letter, and he grinned and informed her they would go out for a celebratory dinner that night. After all, Northwestern was practically Ivy League. It was up there with the likes of Duke, Stanford, Brown, and Boston University, some of the hardest schools in the United States to get in to. Granted, she was pleased that she got in. It didn't matter if she was accepting or not, she still got in. The first time she had been pleased with really… anything in a long, long time.

Except when she politely turned Mike Newton down for a date. And saw the look on his face.

Charlie had grinned and tousled her hair, then told her to get ready to go, and put on something nice. She just grinned again and nodded. To her, it seemed too overenthusiastic and fake, though. Well, that's what zombie mode does to people, she supposed, as she bounded up the steps, not tripping on one for once in her life.

--

When she got into the safe confines of her four wall habitat, or dungeon, or whatever she was deciding to call it these days, she threw the unopened envelope on her bed and sauntered over to her closet, flicking through the sweaters, skirts, t-shirts, thermals, hoodies, and jackets that occupied it. After looking over everything once or twice, she ended up setting out a white skirt, a crimson colored long-sleeved shirt, and a pair of relatively comfortable shoes. Casual. Kinda nice. Not something she would wear to school.

After setting the clothes on her desk, she crossed the room and sat in the rocking chair, glaring at the letter sitting on her bed. Insults ran through her head at a hundred miles per hour. Synapses transmitted signals of pain and anger through her brain simultaneously. She crossed her arms over her chest and continued to glare maliciously at the envelope. The glaring continued like that for another five or so minutes before Charlie tapped on her door, saying that he was out of the shower.

She replied quickly and continued glaring at the letter for a few more seconds, then walked over and began the process of tearing it open. It had no return address, but that didn't matter. She could tell from the handwriting on the front.

She shook out the letter on to her bed, ignoring it for a few seconds and then flipping it over, reading it carefully.

_Dear You;_

_There isn't an escape. These streets, they're just dead ends. So I won't ever be happy again. Well, it seems you too, see a painful blue. When you stare into the sky, you could never understand the motion of a hand waving you goodbye. But as the story goes, or it is often told—a new day will arise, and all the dance halls will be full of skeletons that are coming back to life. And on a grassy hill, the lion will lay down with the lamb. _

_Xo, _

_Me._

--


	2. Bail

**Author Note:** just to get this over with: SORRY! :( I'm super sorry I haven't.. you know, updated, in forever and a half. I kinda have a lot on my plate right now. Work, SAT prep, College hunting, etc. This is really the only thing I've had time to and/or wanted to update right now. Oh, also, I wanted to clarify something. **I don't write the letters that Edward writes to Bella. I'm not that clever or creative, seriously. They** **letters are lyrics from miscellaneous songs.**

Guess the song/lyrics, I'll make you a banner, or something. I like guessing games. I've been hanging out with 3rd/4th graders all week who like to think I'm a walking jungle gym they can hang all over, or something. I dunno.

Also, feedback is awesome. and I love it. It makes me happy. and um, I'll get around to OSM... sometime this weekend. Promise. I have to ice cupcakes and watch Juno again tonight.

And I highly suggest you listen to "So Nice, So Smart" by Kimya Dawson. (It's such a Jacob-Bella song. And speaking of Jacob/Bella.. I have a Jacob/Bella oneshot in the works. It's based off a line from a Yeah Yeah Yeahs song.)

* * *

**Two.**

Bail; _to give up on or abandon something, as to evade a responsibility_

At Northwestern, she got along well with her roommate. Tiffany James, or TJ, as she preferred being called, liked to party. Club. Or whatever. She also had an affinity for alcohol and older men, not that Bella cared. She could understand the older men thing. No problem there.

Of course, there was Jamie, too. Jamie was TJ's best friend from home – they had both gone to high school together and gotten into Northwestern together. Part of Bella figured Jamie was harboring a secret love for TJ, seeing as they had their fair share of awkward glances. She, however, would just roll her eyes at both of them and retreat to the couch to stare blankly at the TV as Flavor Flav would hand some chick with implants a rather large clock.

TJ would take them clubbing, and dance with random guys and have them buy her fruity drinks. Jamie would sigh and cross his arms across his chest and rant to Bella about how she was slowly killing herself. Bella would shrug and sigh and drink her soda.

Jamie, he listens to some varied form of alternative Britrock, or indie, and TJ prefers… whatever she can sing to. Bella is somewhere in the middle. That's where she fits in their little trio… friendship thing. She and Jamie are friends by association, and that association would be TJ. Who, at that exact moment, was cozying up with some random guy with a semi-fro and doing that annoying 'dry sex' dance… thing.

"You know," Jamie noted as he took a drink from his water bottle, "If there were no clothes involved, someone would get sperminated."

Bella shrugged and took another drink of her soda. She frowned at Jamie and sighed again, "Cut her a break. We can't all live up to Jamie Lewis's standard of life."

He rolled his eyes and glared at TJ on the dance floor. "We should leave her." He says quietly as he sips his water. All Bella can do is smirk and think, _Jealous, much?_

She snorts into her drink and rolls her eyes, "I'll believe that one when I see it, Lewis. You'd never bail on TJ," she said with a pensive frown, "Well," she tapped her chin with her index finger, "I take that back."

He just cocked an eyebrow at her, curiosity growing slowly as his counterpart for the night tapped her index finger on her chin, "You'd bail on her," Bella said slowly, taking a quick drink of her soda, Jamie cocked an eyebrow again, "But you'd come back for her later. Within the hour, probably."

Jamie just crossed his arms over his chest in a pout, 'hmph'-ed, and took a drink of his water. Oh, he was out to prove her wrong. Bella knew the Jamie Lewis pout. It was the same pout he gave TJ when she told him he couldn't down four shots of vodka without puking. Of course, he failed. Miserably. And of course, Bella was left to care for a drunken Jamie while TJ sashayed on to the dance floor with a sympathetic smile and a rather distinct: "I told you so."

Bella laughed and rolled her eyes, "Don't even bother denying it, Jamie. If you want to stay here and stare longingly at the rear end of our lovely Tiffany James, please don't hesitate to do so. Unfortunately, I have an English lit exam tomorrow morning and I have to leave. Plus, the smell of cheap fruity drinks, perfume, and sweat is making me a little nauseous. And if I have to hear the song _Umbrella_ one more time, I think my head will explode."

He just nodded and sighed, "I'll probably go, too…"

She rolled her eyes, "And come back as soon as you walk me to my dorm…"

He shrugged, "So?"

Bella just smirked and slipped on her sunglasses and took him by the wrist and lead him toward the exit of the stuffy club.

———

The practically jogged all the way back to their dorms, only stopping occasionally to catch their breath.

They bailed on her, and Jamie didn't really feel all that bad. TJ had bailed on him numerous nights for some guy with a 'fro who was a club promoter. He just laughed as they breezed past numerous annoyed white collar workers heading home from getting dinner and a beer from a local eatery. Life was, you know, bearable at the moment. Even though there was a pang in Jamie's ribcage when he thought of an intoxicated TJ and 'fro boy. Bella stopped in front of the post office and smacked her forehead.

"Crap. I forgot to check my mail today. Do you mind?"

Jamie just shrugged, content with their little adventure at the moment, even if it was close to eleven. Plus, he really needed to catch his breath anyway. He didn't know how Bella had so much goddamn energy. For being so serious and morose and tiny, she had been a bit of a firecracker ever since he had met her earlier a few months ago.

Bella jogged up the steps and unclipped her keys from her belt loop, then began searching for her P.O. Box key, which she soon found. Jamie followed suit with ease. He rested his chin on her shoulder as she went through her mail, still giddy from their run and the feeling of bailing on TJ for once in his life. She shifted through miscellaneous offers for cable TV, the opportunity to sign up for Verizon wireless, her cellular bill, a letter from her dad, a letter from some guy named Jacob, and a letter without a return address, which in turn, made her pause significantly and stare blankly at it for a good minute or two.

Jamie noted the fancy-shmancy cursive on the front, and made a mental note that he should probably attempt to make his scrawl a bit more legible whenever he wrote something out that wasn't solely for him. His eyes moved over to Bella's face, where she looked almost catatonic.

"Hey, earth to space cadet Swan," he said and nudged her slightly, "Earth to Bella, come in Bella," he continued and knocked on her head. Unfortunately, she didn't budge. Jamie frowned and stood up straight, then cocked his head to see her face clearly.

When he attempted to put himself between Bella and the wall, she tore away from him began ripping the envelope open. She carefully pulled the letter out of the envelope like it would explode in her hands. She stared blankly at it for the longest time. Jamie sighed and sat next to her as she continued to stare blankly at the letter, which seemed to make no sense whatsoever.

_Dear You,_

_Do I find you in between heaven and hell again? Where nothing's what it seems.  
It's just as well; I plan on giving me the creeps. And a farewell to arms, and legs, and heads and hearts. You're up there, took the stairs to the stars all alone. You left all the lights burning, but nobody's home. I believe they deceived your tuneful heart too long._

_XO; me._

———


	3. Deception

**Disclaimer:** not mine. da na na na.

**Author Note:** Okay, you guys can start throwing stuff at me now. I know I haven't really updated in forever and a half. I have no excuse for that, other than the fact that I've just been being lazy and enjoying my summer break and haven't felt like writing. Which is lame of me, I know. But I have to have a life, too. Um, anyway, here's an update. TTHTRTW is almost done. It'll be out before the end of the month. Both endings. (Also, speaking of TTHTRTW -- the lovely **fireguns **has translated it in to Spanish. Therefore, she rules about 75483972 times more than I do.) And in other news, I know many of you were expecting an OSM update. But really, that's probably... improbable right now. Simply because I started writing that story for my own benefit to get some things off my chest. All of which are, unfortunately for the story, off my chest and out of my head, which makes the story extremely hard to write. However, I may come back to it in due time, or I may just type up an author's note sometime saying I'll give it up to an author I deem worthy to write it.

However, that will probably be later on this summer. And for the record, all of you guys who review and give me feedback and put up with my spastic updating -- rule. period. you guys are the best. So this chapter is for you, because it has what TTHTRTW & OSM are sorely lacking -- inter**action**. So enjoy it, and feedback is awesome. :)

and kudos to you if you figure out what song the lyrics are from.

* * *

**Three.**

Deception--_ the act of deceiving; the state of being deceived; something that deceives or is intended to deceive; fraud; artifice._

As Jenny Lewis crooned out the lyrics to one of Rilo Kiley's faster songs, Edward Cullen slipped through the crowd effortlessly, just another fan trying to get closer to the stage. Women and teenage girls smiled suggestively at him when he stopped to scan over the crowd or enjoy the song for a moment. He just smiled back at them casually, then slipped through the crowd again.

He followed the freesia scent all the way here. To that very venue, and to Bella Swan.

And he couldn't stay away, so sue him. That didn't matter now. Cryptic letters were his forte, and he sent them frequently. He sent the first when Alice told him she got into Northwestern and planned on going.

So, he went to Chicago. His hometown. And he decided to rent a nice apartment downtown and start his residency at the University hospital. He spent the majority of his nights at the hospital – he had taken the late shifts indefinitely. This night, however, was one of the few nights he had off. And he spent it tracking down Bella Swan.

While he continued his search, a kid with messy brown hair and Buddy Holly glasses ran straight into him. He just smiled sheepishly and grinned, "Sorry, bro."

Edward returned the grin with a curt nod and continued on his way. He was a person or two behind the boy who smelled of Bella and cigarette smoke. Exactly like Bella. Edward frowned and cocked his head, looking up over the crowd again and seeing the source of Bella's strong scent – she was there, standing next to the boy with messy dirty blonde hair and pale features, who was drinking water from a plastic cup. She, however, easily tipped back a beer and nodded her head to the music.

"Whoa, dude," the boy said cautiously, "You're turning into TJ, here. You don't want to be a deadbeat alcoholic by your sophomore year of college. And plus, you're missing out on Rilo Kiley, and they're your favorite band!"

She just shoved him and smirked, "Jamie, chill. Seriously. I'm fine, I just need to relax."

"Alcoholiccccc," he teased, nudging her in the arm, "That's what TJ used to say, too." he added seriously, "And look at her now."

Bella just rolled her eyes, "I'm not TJ, Jamie. Just because I've had three beers doesn't mean—"

"Four beers," he said seriously, then gave her a look, "and it does mean _something_," he yelled over the squeal of the distorted guitar, "Because you've been acting different ever since you got that letter last weekend."

She scoffed, "You didn't talk or eat for two days when you found TJ tangled in sheets with Paco," then shot him a glare, "Because you're no different than I am when it comes to TJ, Jamie. Just let it go and let me be, okay?"

The boy standing next to her just frowned and crossed his arms over his chest as he nodded his head to the music. "Fine, Bella. Whatever. But if you want to talk about it, I'm here for you," he said, keeping his eyes on her swaying frame. He grumbled something about low tolerance and rolled his eyes, wrapping an arm around her waist to steady her.

Edward winced and shook his head, he didn't like the look of the blond and Bella being that close. It gave him an image of Bella with Mike Newton, which in turn, caused him to cringe.

He stepped forward in the crowd so that he was right behind the blond and Bella, and watched as Jenny Lewis sang one of his favorite songs – _Does He Love You?_

That night, of all nights, he was feeling bold, so he stepped closer to Bella and moved with the crowd to where he was right behind her. In her intoxicated state, she didn't even sense that a new and significantly cooler person had moved behind her and took the place of a warm and sweatier body.

The boy, Jamie, looked back at him curiously and offered him a sincere half smile, though it seemed more apologetic than anything else. Edward returned his apologetic smile with a crooked one and went back to watching the band play. Jamie mimicked his motion and loosened his hold on Bella.

And there was his in. He leaned in closer to where his cool body was pressed against her incredibly warm and sweaty one. He slowly cupped the back of her neck and then ran his hand down her to her shoulder and squeezed her clavicle lightly, enough to make her jump.

Of course, by the time she even looked behind her shoulder to see if there was someone behind her, and whether the cool touch was real or the alcohol was making her a little crazy.

Edward, however, was at the bar, scribbling a note on the back of a receipt for two beers and a water.

--

_Dear You; _

_I feel I must interject here. You're getting carried away feeling sorry for yourself, with these revisions and gaps in history. So let me help you remember, I've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear. I've prepared a lecture on why I have to leave. Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures. _

_Xo,_

_Me._

--

She ended up in tears that night. And it wasn't just alcohol induced. On her night stand was an opened envelope and a letter.

She ended up clinging to Jamie like a life raft as sobs wreaked havoc on her body. The sobs were more likely to be caused by the alcohol raging through her system. Otherwise, she would never have let him see her like that. Not Jamie, not her _friend_.

Jamie, however, understood the sinking feeling, simply because if it wasn't for Bella's heaving sobs, TJ's loud moans and shrieks of ecstasy from the next room would have driven him to tears, too.


End file.
